People generally don’t consider divorce lightly. However, once the thought of divorce even pops up in people’s heads, they’re generally in a high-stress mindset within their marriage. Clarity of thought is hard to come by at that stage.
If you’re in that situation, a selection of empowering questions may help you get that clarity. Empowering questions are those that provoke thought and help a person look for answers rather than make emotional reactions. Keep reading for a selection of empowering questions to ask as you consider divorce.
How Clear Have I Been in Voicing My Concerns?
One of the most common causes of divorce is a lack of communication. Many people think they’re communicating, but the message doesn’t get through. Research shows that only around 30 percent of a message gets through in a discussion because listeners are busy thinking about how they want to respond.
So, think about what you’ve said to your spouse and how you conveyed the message. People are less likely to listen to a message if they’re on the defensive. Think about how you can phrase your concerns so your partner will listen.
What Would Have to Change for Me to Stay Married?
The hope is once you and your spouse are communicating you’d both be able to identify what’s wrong with your marriage. Think about what would have to change for you to want to stay in your marriage. You could think of the last time you felt happy in your relationship. What was different then? Is it possible to get back to that feeling?
Remember, it might not be possible to get back to those happy times. Maybe circumstances have changed in your lives. And maybe you and your spouse don’t really want to work on the problems. Say you want your spouse to help more with household tasks. If that occurred, would it be enough? It’s ok if the answer is negative — sometimes built-up frustrations are too much to overcome.
What Would My Life Look Like After Divorce?
If you think divorce is a viable option, think about what your life will look like afterward. For now, just focus on yourself. Think about both the positive and negative aspects of your post-divorce life. Are you financially and emotionally ready to be on your own? Concerning finances, you could visit a financial advisor to get a good picture of your current and future money concerns.
Take this opportunity to imagine what you would want your life to look like post-divorce. You’ll have to take responsibility for all aspects of your life, from daily chores to taxes. Brainstorm steps that could help you find the answers you’d need — remember, clarity is the goal here.
How Can I Minimize the Negative Impact on My Children?
If you have children, this question is the most important one. Some parents stay in their marriage to minimize the negative impact on their children. However, an unhealthy relationship between parents can be just as harmful for or worse than divorce for children.
So, think of how you can minimize the harm of divorce on your children. The goal is to set healthy patterns as a model for them. Likewise, consider the day-to-day life that will best suit their needs. Another concern is the divorce itself — think of how you can make it seem less scary for your kids.
What Would Hiring a Divorce Attorney Look Like?
Once you get to the decision to get a divorce, you have to find an attorney. You’ll need to ask a lot of questions related to their experience and fees. Obviously, answers to those questions will drive your decision to hire a specific attorney.
However, think about how you want to communicate with them, too. You’ll have to deal with your attorney for some time. When you start to call potential attorneys, ask questions that will help you find someone with a compatible communication style.
Ask yourself questions for clarity as you decide to get a divorce. If you need a divorce attorney, contact the Law Offices of Lynda Latta, LLC.